Finding Me
by Rei Firestar
Summary: Sequel to my last fic "Unsung Hero." This is from HIS point of veiw...Bum bum BUUMMM!! Another songfic! This time it's Vertical Horizon! Happy Holidays, minna-san!


Hi all! This is the sequel to my last Slayers fic "Unsung Hero" only it's from HIS point of view.  
It's probably gonna end up shorter than the last one (believe that or not) so don't expect TOO much,  
okay? And READ THE LYRICS!! IT HELPS!!  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Slayers or the song "Finding Me" so if you ask I will smack you in the head  
with Filia's mace-sama!  
  
Finding Me  
By: Rei_Firestar  
  
Here I sit. I have nothing on my mind except her. My Lina Inverse. She's my everything. She's my  
reason for life and I mean that in more ways than one. But she never shows her affection for someone  
else. And I admit that I never really show affection either. It's not like anyone would care if I  
did anyway. But I just love her too much to hold all of it in.  
  
But I don't think she loves me back. At least not the way I love her. I think maybe she has fallen  
for someone else. Perhaps one of the other guys I travel with is her one and only. But I pray that  
it's not.  
  
I wish she would tell us all if she loved someone so she would stop leading me and the others around.  
  
~I don't think you notice  
When you see my face  
I guess you're waiting  
To spin me around again~  
  
Why am I thinking of such things? I know she wouldn't get serious with one of us. We're her friends.  
But she DOES lead us men around. I think everyone has a tiny crush on her with the exception of  
the women. But I don't have a crush. I have pure love.   
  
But she'll always comes back to me after everything. Maybe...maybe it's...no. Afterwards she'll go  
to someone else.  
  
~Wheels I guess are turning  
Somewhere inside my head  
I know that this is  
Deeper than you get  
  
But you're coming back again  
You don't mean to waste my time  
But you're coming back so...~  
  
But she does try and tell me how to act and stuff. The nicknames used to hurt, now they don't burn  
so deep. But I can handle the pain. But she DOES talk to me and tries to "take care of me" in   
some morbid sense.  
  
Maybe if I can figure out my problems and worry more about hers, then she'll fall for me!  
  
~Don't tell me  
How to be  
'Cause I like some suffering  
Don't ask me  
What I need  
I'm just fine  
Here finding me  
Me~  
  
Yes! That must be it! In a frenzy of newly experienced excitement, I dash for her room. I slow to  
a walk as I approach the door. I open the door, not being able to suppress my happiness, or my  
smile, any longer.  
  
"Hi, Lina!" I say.  
  
I see her tears and I am instantly dropped into a land of sadness. But it's not my sadness. It's   
hers.  
  
I walk in and sit down next to her. A spur of the moment idea enters my head and I put my arm  
around her shoulders. She hasn't fireballed me yet, so I know she accepts this action.  
  
"Lina, if there's something wrong, you can tell me."  
  
She looks up at me with watery eyes.  
  
"No, I'm okay. Could you please let me be alone for a while."  
  
I know very well that was an order with no threat behind it if I didn't do what she said. But I  
smile at her. I love her too much to let her suffer and it would be worse if I was there. I could  
see that in her eyes. I am a little hurt, but I am used to the pain.  
  
~I've already given  
Up on getting through  
I never question  
Who I'm talking to~  
  
"Of course. Just don't forget that I'm here, okay?"  
  
She nods her head. I stand up and walk out of the door and close it quietly behind me. I didn't get  
my chance. Maybe if I was like that more often she would open up to me...oh no! Have I already lost  
her? Have my past actions prevented my future chances?! I should have paid more attention to her!  
  
~Oh so much for nothing  
But nothing means so much  
I know it's touching  
But I've been out of touch~  
  
I run to my room and slam the door. I look at my reflection in a full-length mirror. I can't help  
but think to myself 'Is this all I am? A shell with no meaning? No soul?' I slam my fist into the  
reflection and pieces of the mirror cascade to the floor. But as depressing as those thoughts are,  
I have to smile. The next thought I had was the reason I did.  
  
'At least I know who I am.'  
  
~And it's all I can do  
I'm a sight for my sore eyes  
But it's all I am so  
  
Don't tell me  
How to be  
'Cause I like some suffering  
Don't ask me  
What I need  
I'm just fine  
Here finding me  
Me~  
  
Sleep was sneaking up on me and I was attacked by it suddenly. This next thing I know, I am being  
shaken awake and told it's time to eat.  
  
While I sit at the table, I think about many things. I notice that Lina was quite happy now. That  
was good. A sad Lina can turn to a mad Lina in a matter of seconds. She was still smiling when Amelia  
broke the news about my little incident with the mirror and that we had to all bunk in one room  
because it was so expensive to replace. I want to tell her why I did it, but I might make her feel  
bad again. She looks too happy now. Maybe she dreamt of her one and only. I only wish it were me.  
  
~I don't think you notice  
When I can't reach out  
I guess you're waiting  
On somebody else again~  
  
She is the last to come to bed tonight. I sleep on the opposite side of the room of her. I see her  
as she climbs into bed. She looks over at me. I feign sleep like I have done many times before.  
Then I hear something I didn't expect.  
  
Lina is singing! Those are the words to a love song.   
  
~Oh so much for talking  
It's all been said before  
I'm hearing something  
But I wish you'd just say more~  
  
Who's she singing to? As the song fades, I hear her call my name. She was singing to ME! But now  
she's falling asleep. 'No, Lina! Please just say you love me! Please!'  
  
~But you're going off again  
When I just try to hold on  
But you're going off so~  
  
I realize that this is as close as I will ever get to hearing Lina confess her love to me. But now  
I know that it's me she loves and no one else. I know that she accepts me. And that is the best thing  
I could ever know. I whisper gently into the night right as I drift off to sleep.  
  
~Don't tell me  
How to be  
'Cause I like some suffering  
Don't ask me  
What I need  
I'm just fine  
Here finding me  
Me~  
  
"I love you, Lina Inverse. Never forget that...or me."  
  
  
The End!  
  
What?! Did you think you were gonna find out who 'he' was? WRONG!! But anyways I hope you liked that  
little piece of romance I sliced up for ya! That turned out longer than I though it would. Go me!   
R&R onegai! Ja ne, God Bless, and Happy Holidays! 


End file.
